18th Sunday after Pentecost (Proper 21) – October 1st, 2023
Trinity Lutheran Church, Block, Kansas
Rev. Joshua Woelmer
Text: Ezekiel 18:1–32
“A Victim Mentality”
Theme: God does not want you to blame your parents for your sins.
Grace, mercy, and peace to you from God our Father, and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.
If a kid every says these words, “It’s not fair!” then we all know the likely answer from the parent: “Life’s not fair!” I know I made that complaint many times to my parents, and I know I got that same response back. It depends, though, on what the complaint is. Sometimes the complaint has to do with taking turns and agreements that have been broken. It’s my turn to play with this toy, but they have it! It’s not fair! And yes, it isn’t fair if that’s the case, and parents would actually be right to mediate that debate and establish justice in the household. But there are other cases when “Life’s not fair!” is an appropriate response. I remember complaining to my parents that I wasn’t as fast as my classmates at sports. I got that response, and rightfully so. I suppose I could’ve trained more and really exerted myself to beat them, but at the end of the day, you are also given the body that you’re given. Some amount of training can help you overcome an equally gifted adversary, but being 5’6” in the NBA is going to be a tall order, no matter how you slice it. You’ve got to be extraordinarily fast or talented to match up there.
When you don’t measure up in any way, it’s very tempting to blame your parents. You could blame their genetics for height, weight, and medical challenges—after all, you got them from your parents and their parents. If you don’t think you’re smart, then your parents must not have done enough to make you succeed in school. If you are addicted to alcohol, then maybe you can point the finger to parents who drank too much themselves. This list could go on and on. You can even blame your parents for not sticking around.
It is a very natural thing to do because there is some truth to it. Kids without both parents in the home tend to have more problems. Parents pass on non-sinful physical traits to their kids. Parents can also pass on sinful traits to their kids. How does this happen? It happens when parents teach their children a wrong behavior. Parents might say things like, “It’s alright to do xyz. It won’t hurt you.”
It also happens when parents feel bad about their own sins but don’t want to own up to them by teaching their children otherwise. Ironically, that’s the thing you should do. You should tell your kids, “I’m not perfect; here’s where I’ve messed up. I’m sorry for what I’ve done, and I don’t want you to do that too.”
In our Old Testament text for today, we have something similar. Ezekiel is writing to the people of Judah who have been taken into exile to Babylon. The people are saying that they’re in exile because of what their fathers have done, implying that they’ve not done anything deserving this exile, but well, this is just the way it works. Dad did something, so we get punished. It’s a strange proverb, but this is what they are saying: “The fathers have eaten sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge” (2). If you’ve eaten something sour, usually you’re the one who shudders and grits your teeth, but in this case, it’s the children shuddering after their father’s sin.
God doesn’t want his people using this proverb any more. Likewise, he doesn’t want you to blame your parents for your sins. Each person will be responsible for his own sins. God says this specifically: “all souls are mine; the soul of the father as well as the soul of the son is mine: the soul who sins shall die” (4). We call this individual responsibility. God goes on to describe some scenarios.
First, God tells us about someone who does good versus doing empty. He goes through a list of things expected of his people. Some of these laws don’t apply to us as Christians, but we can recognize a few in the moral law and the Ten Commandments. He says that if someone does these things, “He is righteous; he shall surely live” (9). But, if someone commits all these sins, “He shall not live. … He shall surely die” (13). So far so good. We can track easily with this.
Second, he looks at the sons. If the son of a wicked man does good, then God promises blessings. This is counterintuitive to the Israelites. Isn’t it natural for children to be punished for the sins of their fathers? Doesn’t sin go from generation to generation? God says no. “The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father, nor the father suffer for the iniquity of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself” (20).
Thirdly, God wants to emphasize the effectiveness of repentance. Even if you think you are caught in a cycle of sin and addiction, God promises a way out. It may not be easy, but listen to the wonderful promises here: “If a wicked person turns away from all his sins that he has committed and keeps all my statutes and does what is just and right, he shall surely live; he shall not die” (21).
Again, this is not the way the Israelites were thinking. They respond to this mercy of God by saying “The way of the Lord is not just” (25). God’s response is simple: You are not just people who decide what is just or unjust. I am just, and I decide life and death. God concludes with a simple statement: “Repent and turn from all your transgressions, lest iniquity be your ruin. . . . For I have no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Lord God; so turn, and live” (30, 32).
What God says in Ezekiel has many implications for us today. First, God desires your salvation. He wants you to repent of all your sins—even those you think you have inherited from your parents. Don’t play the blame game, passing the buck. Even if you have inherited sinful tendencies, you are responsible for your own sin. Repent of it. Let it go. Don’t let it rule you. Receive the grace of God.
Second, know that you do not carry the sins of your parents. Even if you were the great-grandchild of slaveowners, you do not bear their guilt. We are losing this understanding in America with all this talk of reparations for former slaves. You don’t carry the guilt of everything evil any “white” person has ever done. Nor is it good to carry a victimhood status around all the time. We are all victims of sin to one degree or another. Be forgiven and move on.
Finally, this passage speaks about children turning to evil after being raised as Christians. Parents, you are not responsible for the sins that your kids commit after they leave your house. Live an upright life. Teach them to be Christians to be sure. Discipline them as they grow up. The scariest thing that will happen is when they leave the house and get other inputs and influences from friends and the world. They will make mistakes. Be there to welcome them back and forgive them.
From one adult to another, you can teach them in a different way than when they were under your authority as little children. I know the grief that many people carry for their children who forsake the faith. If they do not repent, their sin is on them. It is not on you. Repent and receive forgiveness where you think you have failed. Seek opportunities to bring them back into the faith going forward.
Finally, the whole attitude of God is that he does not desire sinner to die in their sin. Paul summarizes this attitude of God by saying that He “desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth” (1 Tim 2:4). That is the desire of God, and that is our desire as well—first that we would be saved, and that those around us would be saved as well.
Now may the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Amen.
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